Ukrainian-foreign marriage: main reasons of failures
There are thousands of happy couples who have found each other through online dating. At the same time, no one can guarantee that even if you find somebody you really like and your relationship will go as far as marriage, you will live happily ever after. It is useful to learn from others’ mistakes to ensure that your marriage will last.
Inevitable differences in the mindset
The difference in thinking of Eastern European people and the ones from Western European countries lies in the different historical background. It will always be hard to understand the problems of the Ukrainian women, which have roots from their childhood in the communist regime. It will be hard to explain why you need life savings and that you have to trust the state with and it’s retirement system. Even girls from younger generations know the stories that have been planted deeply in their minds by their parents that you never know when the money can become worthless and you should rather spend it on something that you can have now. Money is not the only aspect where the mindset of Ukrainian ladies might differ from yours. The behavior in the relationship is also radically different. Ukrainian girls are very upfront and they are not afraid to say what they like and what they not like. They might confront and criticize you and sometimes they just need to have a fight. If you are the type who likes to hold the emotions back a lot, it might be hard for you and you will have to learn how to let them go. There is nothing really to be scared of. If the Ukrainian woman sees that you are upset, she will be the first one to come and apologize and feel sorry for you.
Adapting to the new environment
Although Ukrainian girls are usually pretty good at adapting to the new environment, it is still very individual and there is always a risk that the woman might not like the new place. Certainly, there are things that she will enjoy – the fact that a new set of clothes does not cost you half a salary, cleanliness of the cities and maybe the beautiful nature. However, there will always be something that will be missed. It might be the food and other products that are different. Or the people. The woman might miss an opportunity to talk to the people in the shop or on the street because she is not sure about her language skills and if it is a normal thing to do. For sure she will miss her family and friends. The distance often makes the things scarier than they are. People are not missing exactly someone or something, but the opportunity of an immediate contact. If she does not understand the roots of the problem and there is no one there to help her, she might become depressed and lose her qualities as a partner. Usually not many Ukrainian women who have emigrated to the West, are willing to go back home, but there are always exceptions and you have to be aware of this fact.
Lack of relationships with other people
The success of your marriage does not depend only on the relationship between you and the Ukrainian bride. She also needs to have new connections with your fellow citizens and make her own friends. It might seem at first that you can provide her with everything, but eventually she has to become more independent. It often means that you have to motivate her and push her to learn the language. Don’t make her feel too comfortable. She also needs to develop as a person, it will help her to get used to the country faster. If she does not want to do anything and uses being a foreigner as an excuse, it is definitely a red flag and the earlier you confront it, the better. You also have more chances for a successful marriage if you are willing to support her initiatives and help her become independent in coping with the everyday things.
Every marriage is challenging. It might seem that there are thousands of reasons why a marriage can fail, but the main sources of all of them usually can be divided into the categories discussed above: the mindset, the homesickness and the inability to make new emotional contacts. If you face the problems at their roots, you can make your marriage much stronger.